


Burn

by scarletchidori



Series: Royai Week 2019 [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Gen, Guilt, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 06:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19193806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletchidori/pseuds/scarletchidori
Summary: "That fire burns away life, buildings, and our own humanity."





	Burn

**Author's Note:**

> Royai week day 3: Flashover. This is by far my least favorite one-shot for this week but I hope you will like it. I feel like I still don't know how to write about Royai, therefore I still keep writing them as really close but without crossing the line. But tomorrow I guess I will try to write something new and going out my comfort zone. As always I checked multiple times my work but if you find some mistakes, please let me know.

_“Standing on the edge of the underworld_

_Looking at the abyss_

_And I’m hoping for some miracles_

_To breakout to escape from all this_

_Whispers in the air tell the tale_

_Of a life that’s gone”_

_(Nuclear - Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain)_

 

*

 

  
I - Ishval Civil War

  


Fire burns everything. Everytime something or **someone** gets enveloped by the fire everything around it follows suit. My heart hurts every single time I see fire, because its my fault in the first place. That fire burns away life, buildings, and our own humanity.

 

I shouldn’t have trusted Roy Mustang. It’s my fault this is happening. I gave him the  Flame Alchemy and now he's using it in the most wrong way possible. If I never opened up to him then no one would ever suffer like this, no one would burn to death.  I trusted him with my father research, he promised me he would us it to help people not to kill them. I feel rage burning inside me. Alone in my tent I let myself cry for all those innocents life that I’ve taken, for all those innocents life that got consumed by the fire. How can someone atone for this? How can I go on with my life knowing that I killed so many innocents?

 

“Hawkeye?”  
“What do you want?”, I ask with hostility.   
I can bring myself to be respectful in front of others, it’s not like I want to but I have no choice, but now we are alone and I can be hostile as I want. He deserves it and I need to throw my own sense of guilt onto someone, and he’s the best choice.  
“Just wanted to know if you are alright”, he says.   
“You asking me if I’m feeling fine after what I saw? After what I did?”, I ask with bitter irony “Sure, I’m feeling great, Mustang”  
“I’m sorry”  
“You’re ‘sorry’?”, I ask ”Really?”  
“Of course I am”, he says “This isn’t  what I wanted to do. I don’t want to kill innocent people, I don’t want to. I killed children, Hawkeye. Innocent children”   
“You didn’t just kill them… you burned them to death”, I say “I try… to not make them suffer, you could shoot them too if you wanted, but you decided to use alchemy”  
“It wasn’t my choice” he whispers “I didn’t decide anything. Every single Alchemist is using their power, whether they want it or not. We didn’t get to choose. You think that I wanted this? That I joined the military for killing people? I want to protect them, but I didn’t get to choose.”   
“No, I don’t think you wanted this...”, I admit   
“We’re on the same boat. No one of us wanted this”, he says pointing out of the tent “I didn’t want it, you didn’t, and sure as hell nobody out there wanted to kill people”.  
“I know… but I hate you, Roy”, I admit “I trusted you… I hate you”.

He inhales a sharp breath, like my words are hurting him, he looks away clenching his fists.

“I know”  
“How can I atone for this? How… can I live with myself knowing that I ruined many lives? Shoot people can make them suffer less, but it doesn’t make me feel better”  
“I don’t know”, he admits “I don’t know how can we atone for this… but I know that what I’ve done will stay with me forever”   
“You should go, Mustang”, I say “Leave me alone”.   
“I’m sorry”, he repeats “I’m really sorry” his eyes are full of regret.

  
*

 

II - Aftermath

  


_The same fire that burned all those people is now burning my skin. Piece by piece my father’s research disappears from the world leaving Roy the only ‘Flame Alchemist’. No one will ever learn how to use it now. I wish he could burn all of this, enveloping my whole back, erasing my sins from my body forever._

_“I can’t do it, Riza”, he whispers “Your body is already in shock, I can’t risk it”_   
_“Please”, I say crying “Please set me free”_   
“You’re already are”, he assures me “I burned the most important things, you don’t need to suffer even more”.  
_"Please I--”_   
“I understand that”, he says “But trust me on this; I would never lie to you, never again, not about this. Your tattoo is useless now”.  
_"It will scar?”_   
_“Pretty bad, yeah”, he nods “I know you don’t want any of our comrades to see it, so you will need to cover it constantly, even during summer”_   
_“It’s okay”, I say tiredly.  
_“I need to take care of your burns, then I suggest you to take some painkillers and then try to sleep”.

  
“Thank you, Roy”   
“You- are you feeling alright?”   
“Yeah”, I whisper feeling very tired.   
“I didn’t burn all of it, but you already know that”, he says “It would have been too painful, besides now your tattoo is useless”   
“You already said that”   
“I thought you didn’t remember”, he says “You were in shock”   
“Roy?”  
“Yes?”   
“How are you feeling?”  
“Good”.  
“You’re lying”.   
“Of course I am”, he snaps “I burned you. I almost lost control over the flames and I-- I could’ve killed you”.   
“You would never do that”, I whisper “Can I ask you something?”  
“Of course you can”.  
“Could you sleep with me?”  
“I don’t think that's a good idea”  
“I need-- I need you, please”.  
“Okay”.

He lies down beside me, he’s so warm and ironically I feel so cold (perhaps because of the shock) that I get closer to him without even thinking.

“Thank you, Roy”, I say “And please don’t feel guilty about this. I wanted this and you know that. We both needed this”  
“Doesn’t make this right, Riza”, he murmurs “I hurted you, this will be the first and the last time, I will never hurt you like this again. I will never use Flame Alchemy to hurt people, and I will never use it against you.”   
“I know, Roy. I trust you”, I confess “It was unfair to blame you…”   
“Thank you for trusting me despite what happened”   
“I joined the military to protect you, Roy”.  
“I already know that”, he confesses “You said that while you were sleeping, I think you were dreaming of me, and you said that you joined the military for me”.  
“And you’re not mad?”   
“No, I am not”.

Fire burned everything in my life. It all began with my father, who slipped away in his madness because of it, and then it burned everything that was combustible: our lives, the innocents soul in Ishval and in the end it burned itself, scarring my back and freeing me from the responsibility of carrying such a burden.

Turning to Roy I noticed that he fell asleep laying his head on my uninjured shoulder. I can’t even imagine how hard it was for him to burn me, hurt me, without having a choice. But now the fire has nothing to feed on and I will make sure that he will never have to use Alchemy against his will again or use it for vengeance- we can reborn from our ashes and so can the world we destroyed.


End file.
